Hi Johnny,
I could not let this post go by without adding my two cents or at least letting you know that I too care very much.
I hear the sadness and fear in your voice and my heart goes out to you.
I know sympathy isn't really want you want, it's understanding and we all can offer that in more ways than one from all our different experiences.
Your post did make me draw on something myself, which I felt the need to share.
Yes, I have a husband and family who do care for me, but it doesn't always make a difference because AS and pain puts us in a world of lonliness anyway...no matter how many peope are around.
It's a feeling inside of ourselves that we will struggle with no matter how many people are in our lives.
Either way, we have to fight it.
I guess my point is even if you had that someone special, this feeling wouldn't totally go away... I am not saying that having someone around doesn't make it easier. I know better, but what I am saying is, the feeling of lonliness will still be there. We still have to have to try to overcome it and not let it get the best of us.
There are millions of people in this world, so in reality, we aren't alone. Like it was mentioned already though...people won't just come to us...we do have to reach out to make it happen somehow. Only we ourselves have the power to change that, although it can be difficult.
I was a single mother for what seems like millions of years and I longed for that adult, one on one attention that seemed like it would never come along. It did, but thanks to my children I had something to live for while waiting, so what your saying does make a difference,(which I am sure everyone knows) but life has a way of surprising us, but we have to take chances.
Everyone here came together for you and I love that about this place.
You have so many loving friends and that's much more than alot of people can say...whether it's in cyberspace or not.
Your special and have the courage, looks and personality that most woman would give anything for, but you have to take the chance and let them see the side of you that we see.
I wish for you all the great things you deserve and hope with all my heart that somehow you get through this.
I see the struggles of many here, but what your going through is one of the hardest because nothing is worse than pain and lonliness put together.
I hope at least one of these types of pain let's up soon.
Would be great if it was both.
We can only hope and pray, which is what I will do for you.
Hugs to you,
Lisa