Hey Johnny, the anger thing is all a part of the process of healing. Sure it sounds nuts and you'll probably think I'm nuts for saying it, but it's something I'm aware of from my nursing experience and I'm certainly glad that I knew about it before I had to experience the journey myself. Helped me feel sane during times that weren't outwardly so.
It's ok Johnny. It's normal. It's getting us from one place to another, and hopefully to a calmer one where acceptance lies.
I can understand your feelings and fears of lonliness, but maybe aim to feel comfortable in your own skin and then focus on partnership.
One vivid image I have from my past is sitting on a windowsill on a warm summer's day thinking I was destined to be alone in this world, ending up an old lady alone with numerous cats (who let's face it could tell humans a thing a two about love and acceptance).
I was 23 at the time, so maybe not you typical early-twenties-think but one thing it showed me was never to rely on anyone else for happiness (and more importantly, never compromise your own happiness for someone else's terms and conditions)
I've had a relationship come and go since then (my friends were glad - said I was like a Stepford wife
) and although I'm in another now, if push came to shove I'd rather be alone than have to endure an unhappy relationship. Stepford wife no more for me....lol.
If it happens it happens, Johnny. Don't ever think you're less of a person because you're not with someone.
"I don't want to be your other half, I believe that one and one make two" (Wise words from Alanis)
Take care,
Jan
